I enjoyed SHINE last night. (I will tell you about SHINE soon). The session was about Personal Boundaries, this actually made me reflect on my personal life.
2 and a half years ago, I was engaged to a very handsome, tall, blue eyes danish guy. A guy that most girls would only dream of. I have been a “people-pleaser” and having a guy like that meant that I would be saying YES to a lot of things that were a NO NO in my heart. Not being able to set up personal boundaries in that relationship costed me a lot!
Did I mention that he was also an athiest? Picture me as Mina and Him as Professor Radission in the movie “God’s Not Dead”. (Thats another topic for another day 😁 ). I have actually never dated in “church” anyway, there is a chapter of this season of my life in the book am writing.
*My point is, its ok to say NO to people without having to explian yourself. I have given an example of my ex because most of us ladies strugle with boundaries in relationships. We are so afriad of setting boundaries because we think he “might” leave us. The problem with that is that we lose ourselves in the process and in most cases, he will not respect you or value you. He will also own you to some extent. When my ex and I broke up, i moved to another town within Copenhagen and got myself a job. After a few months, he calls and invites me for coffee, I said “NO,” he then asked me why, i told him that I had no reason, I just didnt want to see him. He got mad because i had said no. You see, he thought he owned me and that I had no right to turn him down, even though we werent together anymore.
*Lets learn to set up personal boundaries. Its healthy for us and the people around us.